MIDLIFE CRISIS: If so many of us fail, there most be something wrong within the fabric
For better and for worst! That was the deal! And the kids?! He still loves his wife so much... but it’s been years since he got a taste of that much testosterone... it is pretty hard to resist. Eventually, nature will have the best of his intentions, and he will finally let go, following his instincts. As he gives into the temptation, he will come back broken with his emotions and values grinned.
What has he done? But as the occasion represents itself again, he will give back into it... until he got caught. What a pig! How could he while she was home taking care of the kids and doing grocery. Here comes the big fight! Will they save their marriage or kill it?
Some will give it another chance. The problem is that she doesn’t trust him anymore and will try to fit him back into an even smaller enclosure than before. If he behaves, she will give some him oxytocin, but that’s about it. She, she can go for miles and miles with oxytocin alone. Has she became a mom and get older, the hormone’s circle are not the same anymore and even decrease while his hormone level remains pretty much the same.
That’s where the difference comes from and where they started to grow apart, even as they love each other and their kids.
“Love grows and evolves. So should we.”
- Dr. Bak Nguyen, from REBOOT
Biology and chemistry are what govern our body and mood. No one can fix a problem without knowing the mechanic behind it. Now you know. The problem is that the social structures never evolves to match the changes neither in biology nor in culture. Actually, it never really takes into account his biological needs…
The taste of testosterone he felt rushing not too long ago got him hooked. This time, he will not be as patient, and oxytocin has a slim to no effect on his craving. Only guilt will keep him bowing down for a little while. Until he does it again. With testosterone, his memory kicks in his « glory days » and all the dreams and regrets come suddenly back on the table all at once!
This is the beginning of the crisis, the Midlife Crisis…